25.7.12

cause & effect



he said
he was going
to put the bullet
through his brains
and she said

what of the effects

her words
were innocent
and lilting
(and he smiled)

but
he said there weren’t any
he didn’t
matter

she thought
then
who was
the cause

‘it wasn’t
anybody’s
fault’

what was it

‘it wasn’t
Anything
It just
Is’

she wondered
if he knew
that if he wasn’t a cause
he had to be an effect
and
she said
repeatedly
to the corpse

I am the consistent cause
i am the consistent cause
i am the consistent cause 

22.7.12

story { 1 }


               The earth was warm beneath him. His back formed its deepest pleasure by pressing into the caves of the grass and the dirt. No matter what innocent twigs cracked to his folly; this unique warmth had him down for each summer’s breath.
A woman, no taller than a jay feather from where he was, sat at the crest of the hill, staying within orbit of the large tree by her. Her leg, heavy, and deeply curved, as if her calves wished to be a bushy tail rather than a serpent’s body, lay bare to half the thigh, her dress skirts having swung up with the breeze. The wind blew softly upon her, teasingly – and had managed to untuff a few locks of hair. They twirled relentlessly, muttering its sweet nothings.
                Summer had turned to Fall this day – for this tree she sat beside had sent a flock of dry, emaciated, crisp leaves for cremation. She had taken to crushing them with her hands, grabbing one or a few whole and curling them slowly into her delicate fingers till left only were pulverised jewels.
                The man had stopped watching on his safe plateau of grass, untainted by Autumn. He too had quite a head of hair; affectionate curls hugged close to him; brown wisps burrowed in the crevices of his eyes and the wedge of his ears. He was slender, his grey sweater lagged behind him in piles of exhausted fabric – and while he stood it hung uncomfortably low on the sides, dragging him down almost humourously. The cool sun, filtered by those immense cumuli, dazzled the sweetness of his cheeks and emphasised the hollow of his eyes. When he blinked, he could taste his lashes on his skin.
                And he fluttered and she crushed. As she drew a pile of these multi-coloured gems, she wondered if at first people could ever tell the difference. And so she spread it like paint across her brow and on her lips. She began to cover her bosom in the healthy leaves left yet. And she did not stop till she was quite covered.
                Dazed, awakened from Half-Sleep of Nearby Thoughts (to wander in the hill metres away, to awake and find the clouds), the man slowly brought open his lids.  He felt the imprint of the grass as it stained him, but brought nonetheless his body up from its stance to greet stupor.  He began to walk to the girl, at first without intention and at last with all omniscience (he was by all opinions turned from her, with her back curved to make her eyes opposite him - but they both knew what was happening before it happened.)
                She looked up from her book (for she had brought one and there had been one), her lips covered in mosaic flecks of red, brown, and yellow.  As too were her eyebrows and he thought her marvelous in that moment.
                She was in a simple teal dress and he in his sweater and black jeans, but he bowed so beautifully and she smiled such a quiet smile - why they just were something more.
                Scooping down to his knee, he cracked a handful of leaves in his own hand and gestured closer. She lowered her head beneath him, and he admired the fringe of hair exposed upon her neck as the tendrils fell to front. She felt the trickle like dust upon her neck as he bathed her in her crown.
                His smile pulled back his face - so narrow was it already - and his eyes crinkled something endearing when she looked up so silent and knowing. His laugh was not so much a laugh as it more like a quick hum of exhale a quick – what-a-pleasant-surprise breath and she understood.
                And he took her hand in his own and put her breast to his and enveloped her pale full lips in his own dainty and pink and they fell back in the grass and in the dead leaves thinking it only colourful and delicate and gone. And little did they know that their love was soon a carcass in the wind
                being crushed and licked by the lips of other lovers.

8.7.12

the day was dragging and her feet were lagging ('i am not a poet,' she clarified.)

the humidity had reached its climax and
she only wanted the resolution
(she hoped
the ending would be
a cold shower an
episode of a show
dinner music books)

but the air, still, held its place
brevity was not its friend when it came to such things
as summer hot as winter cold
it only wished to perform the task
of speed
when it felt
the people were having
too much fun

 what an onerous job they'd set out
to make her
thighs fall
to her knees and
knees sink down to feet
which burned on sizzling asphalt

it felt dry it felt cool
she dropped down onto the grass
and let herself burn
in the uninterrupted sun

(she would
get her shower
...
later.)

27.1.12

& the world starts to chatter

it isn't a type of chatter she finds herself enjoying. it's all blasphemous copy&pastes of articles, with a few stylistic tweaks. to embellish, 'bring to life', or put into their own words.
but with each synonym the meaning changes like some dull telephone game.
she sighs.
how dreadful.

the newspaper article echoes the news she saw herself.
no words seem to accurately describe it.
'terrible,' they say, when it should be playing repeatedly and repeatedly the sound of the screams
they reconsider the word terrible.

and repeat.

she imagines the title of her own fate.
supposing it can't be something too extraordinary, she ponders her problems and her likes - her obsessions.
words, she likes words.
the smooth ones and the cracked ones --
she loves using them too much.

even without knowing the meaning,
which could get her into disastrous problems.

'benevolent,
my dear
means
good-hearted.
see: bene.'

'so you see,
you have rather
inaccurately
described
gaddafi.'

she considers herself a writer,
but not very much in control.

perhaps, she is not the master of words,
but the apprentice.
or even less,
she is bent at their will.
they are very sirens of literature,

and she has already been caught.

'death by words:
girl struck by the enormity of pulchritude'